Wednesday, February 22, 2012

You Know You've Lived in Spain When...

I must say that I am ashamed that I haven't posted in well over a year.  I'm guessing no one even follows me anymore - heck, if you have to wait years in between posts, there really isn't much to follow!  My respite is partly due to a lack of time (law school keeps me plenty busy - reading and writing assignments galore), but also due to a lack of inspiration.  Spain inspired me to write, to share my adventures and perspectives, and to memorialize every moment.  It has been hard to find similar inspiration here.

The other day, however, my friend Carly passed along a wonderful e-mail entitled "You know you've lived in Spain when...".  We've all seen these kinds of e-mails before, but this one truly hit home.  After studying abroad in college and then living in Spain for nearly two years, I can honestly say that most of these are 100% accurate.  And #50, is definitely true.  While those of you who don't speak Spanish might miss the humor in some of these, I encourage you to take a glimpse at a dictionary or find a translator online.  It's worth it (and you'll learn a word or two!).  Read on and enjoy...

You know you’ve lived in Spain when….

1.  You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is perfectly acceptable. Especially at lunch.  
2.  You can’t get over how early bars and clubs close back home, surely they’re closing just as you should be going out?  
3.  You aren’t just surprised that the plumber or electrician has turned up on time, you’re surprised he turned up at all.  
4.  You think it’s fine to comment on everyone’s appearance. And to openly stare at strangers.  
5.  Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.  
6.  You’re shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun - surely they should wait until at least late June?  
7.  On msn you sometimes type ‘jajaja’ instead of ‘hahaha’  
8.  You’re amazed when Spanish TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.  
9.  You’re not surprised that Spanish TV program info doesn’t match with what is actually being shown, unless it is “Prensa Rosa”.  
10.  You forget to say please when asking for things - you implied it in your tone of voice, right?  
11.  You know what a pijo / pija is and how to spot one.  
12.  Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: buenocoño, vale, venga, pues nada...  
13.  You know how to eat boquerones.
14.  You know the difference between gambas, gambones, cigalas, langostinos...
15.  You know the difference between jamón pata negra and jamón de York, and you prefer the first.  
16.  You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your  evening meal before 9.  
17.  You know after 2pm there’s no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.  
18.  You know you must take two days off when you have to do any official paperchasing, for cars, residence, etc.  
19.  You know that those astronomical prices they’re talking about are actually in pesetas, and what that means in euros.  
20.  If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out…  
21.  You know how to change a bombona.
22.  It’s not rude to answer the intercom to your flat by asking Quien?
23.  You don’t accept beer that’s anything less than ice-cold.  
24.  You know Bimbo isn’t a slutty woman, it’s a make of pan de molde (which, incidentally, isn’t moldy)  
25.  You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo...and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!  
26.  On some Sunday mornings you have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.  
27.  Floors in certain bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a trash can?!  
28.  You know ensaladilla rusa has nothing to do with Russia.  
29.  The doctor says you are constipado you don’t go and buy ExLax.  
30.  You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion.
31.  You know that ahora doesn’t really mean now.  
32.  When you make arrangements to meet at 3, the first person turns up at 3.30…if you’re lucky!  
33.  When women think that clear bra straps are in fact invisible.  
34.  When it’s totally normal for every kitchen to have a deep-fat fryer but no kettle.  
35.  Te cagas en la leche….  
36.  To avoid that cheap Eristoff vodka you have to ask for ‘un esmirnoff’.  
37.  You think J&B and Ballantines are OK to drink.  
38.  When you know what a guiri is and have been called one  (*one of my favorites!*)  
39.  Blonde girls actually start to think their name is rubia.  
40.  If something is great, it’s de puta madre
41.  You eat up to 5 times a day: 1st breakfast, 2nd breakfast at 11.30, almuerzo, merienda, cena.  
42.  You know the jingles for Los Cuarenta Principales, M80, Onda Zero, etc.  
43.  If you see someone wearing a T-shirt with something written on it in English, you can almost guarantee it won’t make sense.  
44.  When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it’s standard practice to ask "Quien es la ultima?"
45.  When you have the habit of answering the above question "Ahora es   Usted."  
46.  Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?  
47.  You are more likely to call your friends tio/a, nena, chaval, macho or even tronco than by their name.  
48.  You answer the phone by saying ‘Yes’. Or even ¿Diga?49.  You prefer UHT milk.  
50.  You prefer all the above to the way they do things back home.